Armando V. Munoz

S.C.F. Ministries, Youth Outreach

December 6, 2014

Hindsight is 20/20

To the young people Called and Chosen of God:

I am sorry it has been a while since I have written to you.  I have kept you all in my prayers believing God for miracles on your behalf.  I remember when I was a young man before I started my life of criminal activity which ultimately led me to murder an innocent man.

I used to have a CB radio in my mini-truck.  Cell phones were not around then, but it still fits the picture, so please bear with me.  I would be headed, let’s say, south on Highway 101 on my way to work, the mall, or wherever.  I would call out to the truckers headed northbound, saying, “Northbound, anyone out there got their ears on?  Come on.”  I’d get a, “Yeah go ahead,” response.  I’d say, “How’s it lookin’ over your shoulder?”  Then they would tell me whether there were any Highway Patrols or whether there were any accidents or other impediments to my journey.  This would allow me to slow down or exit somewhere.  You see it was because they had just come from where I was going.  Hindsight is always 20/20, and what was behind them I was soon to face.

As I look back on my life, I could see all the warning signs.  I got away with a few small crimes which only enhanced my appetite for crime and made me feel invincible.  I first was arrested when I was 12 years old.  It only digressed from there.  I was arrested for shoplifting a couple times, grand theft auto, discharging a firearm, but I never really repented or changed my ways.  I began selling drugs, fighting, and assaulting people as a way of life.  I had a lifestyle of violence that made me feel like no one could defeat me; not the police, individuals, or groups of people.  I did not care what or who I faced.  I would call out groups of people and most would be afraid and do nothing.  I was a career criminal who had no future, no hope, and no vision.  I was blinded by my own sin.  Light is necessary to see, but because I lived in darkness I could not see.

I found myself with my eyes wide open after I murdered a man facing a 43 year to life, to life to life to life commitment.  I call it a commitment because I was going to be committed to prison for the rest of my life.  Yet I could never totally commit to God, my wife, family, or friends.  It was always about me.  I had been running full steam ahead without care from a teenager until I was the age of 25.  I was high every day, so I lived in a cloud and had no sense or perspective of reality.  I created this John Gotti/Scar Face/Good Fellas persona or image of myself.  I felt I was untouchable.

What I did not understand was that I had been running from God the whole time.  God had called me from a young boy but I let my environment, the circumstances of my upbringing, and the people I loved to be around to shape the image I wanted to project for myself.  The only way to convince people of your lie is to be your lie.  My truth was that I was afraid, resulting from incidents of my father abusing my mother and his drug addiction for which I felt fear, pain, guilt, and shame.  I thought I had to be strong not helpless and weak.  I did not know that to be strong was to stand up for truth and righteousness, and not to act like a fool.  I bought the lie and lived it until the wheels fell off.  One man dead, one almost dead, and another scared to death all because I could not face reality.  I thought I had to prove myself to everyone.

At trial, everyone showed up to testify against me.  I was a fool and no one I had believed to be on my team was present.  However, God was there for me.  When I was alone in a Kern County Jail, He was there.  When I was convicted of first degree murder, He was there.  When I was sentenced to 43 years to triple life, He was there.  For the last nearly 19 years of my incarceration, He has always been there and is still there with me.  He never left me.  I learned that He had been there long before, and all during my crime.  All I had to do was answer the door when He knocked, but I was worried my friends, family, and peers would think I was weak and helpless not strong and fearless.  I did not understand only in Christ can anyone be truly strong and fearless.  I did not want to ruin the false persona I created for myself.  In the end, there were very few if any friends and family that had encouraged and affirmed my criminal behavior in my corner.

If only I had opened the door to the Lord.  Today, my life is good with God, yet I still live with regret for not having opened the door much sooner.  He is knocking now, are you going to open up and let Him in?  Today is the day of salvation, tomorrow is promised to no one.  You can have life without regret and the extra unnecessary suffering and pain.  What I failed to learn by the hearing of the ear, I had to learn by experience.

I am coming back from where you are headed and my hindsight is 20/20.  Perfect vision is 20/20, I can see both near and far.  I am here to tell you, take the exit (Christ), turn around (repent) there is nothing but fire.  The heat will intensify and grow fast until it traps and/or kills you.  I know it feels like it’s alright, you are under control, and it is easy going in.  That, my friends, is the deception.  Be not deceived, we can control nothing but ourselves and that is only by the power of the Holy Spirit.  You must open the door to be empowered.  As Jesus said, and is saying now, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him and will sup with him and he with me” (Revelation 3:20).  Receive Him as your Lord and Savior today.

Thank you for your time.  Peace and Grace be unto you all in this time of your life.  You will see only He is always there.  Amen.