My Above Reproach Testimony

By Anthony Brown

I’m not one who really likes displaying my chaotic behavior as a man; a father who claimed to be loving, caring, and a provider of his family who failed in his duty, but God Amen.  Due to my chaotic behavior, I am writing this testimony from prison serving a 15-to-life sentence and have been incarcerated for 25 years.  God has filled me with His loving, saving grace through His son who is my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  I have surrendered my life to Him.  He has blessed me by revealing His Word and there has been a total change of my heart and thoughts that reflect who He is.  He is the epitome of love, mercy, goodness, grace, truth, compassion, and long-suffering.

I can remember as a kid that there were fun times with the family of six boys and three girls, although the dysfunctional spirit had been manifesting itself within the root of my family tree.  In my teenage years, there was a lot of abuse from my father toward my mother.  Thank God I had a lot of brothers and sisters because the backlash of my father’s abuse fell on us at times.  Our father started going to prison and the dysfunctional spirit was in full effect; the devil was running rapidly in our household.

As an adult, I was using drugs, using women, and running amuck.  I was filthy and the only good thing that came out of my old lifestyle was my beautiful blessed children.  Although they love me at the present time,  I have scared some of them.  I have given that situation over to God.

There were many times I felt like there was a dark cloud hovering over my head.  I would go out “dressed to kill” (looking good) with plenty of money in my pocket.  I would notice people of all nationalities who would have this joyous, happy attitude with a glow hovering over them.  To be honest, I didn’t know if any of those people were Christians.  I do know now that it was God trying to speak to me, but I was spiritually blind.

I’m going to fast-forward to 1992.  I was living in Buena Park in Orange County.  The dysfunctional spirit had taken me over and I had surrendered to it subconsciously.  I was acting-out its attributes which are: fornication, uncleanliness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousy, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambition, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like.

In August of 1992, I murdered a human being.  As I went through trial for fourteen months, I was compelled to attend chapel services at every opportunity.  That is where I surrendered my life to God consciously, and He began to work on me.  Every time I attended chapel service, I would weep like a baby pleading to God for forgiveness for what I had done; I was repenting without knowing it.  I thank, praise, glorify, and honor God for sending His son Jesus Christ who willingly died on Calvary for a wretch like me.  Amen

As a child of God, the glow that I saw when I was young now abides in me.  Hallelujah!!