Life Above Reproach

By

David R. Ewart, Ph.D.

            I am writing this testimony to express my opinions of prison after 27 years of incarceration.  Some things in life change for the better and some for the worse.  Prison is not for the better.  What I gave up is not found behind the walls and the razor wire.  The capability to make choices on what you are going to wear, what you are going to eat, what you are going to do for the day, and what you can voice…that would be freedom. There are many guidelines that manage your daily routine and control your behavior, that after a while you become an android.  When you have some of the basic things taken away, you realize what you have forfeited.  When you do crimes against society, there are always going to be consequences.  This is a law of the universe; you will reap what you sow.

            I am an educated man and assumed I could out-smart society, I was so wrong.  My sentence in 1993 was 34 years-to-life.  I have been to the Parole Board four times and the same verdict, denied for three more years.  No matter how hard you try to program while in prison, the crime stands alone in the weight it carried.  Murder is murder, a life lost, and there are many victims.  So many prisoners do not understand the hurt they have caused to people who may have loved them, people who trusted them, to have it broken.  In some cases, the sadness is so deep that there is no reconciliation.  Jesus has made a way for the forgiveness of sin, but we humans have a difficult time forgetting the anguish.

            After all these years of disconnection from society and my family, I have come to the realization that there is no reason to take someone’s life.  Self-defense is possibly an exception, but we must be careful in the definition of self-defense.  I understand that there are accidents, but not the deliberate act of murder or the premeditated act of robbery.  You can name the different crimes, but if you commit a crime against society you have broken the law and there will be punishment.

            Over the years of my incarceration, I have witnessed many of the men break from the pressure of the confined life.  They use drugs or alcohol to numb the pain of separation.  The criminal activity is just as strong as it is on the outside.  Do not be fooled.  Many of the young men learn in corrupt activities that lead the way to more time in prison.  Yes, you can obtain additional time in prison and the changed crimes do add up.  I have seen many men surprised at the extra time in prison they had accumulated.  Of course, to them it was very unfair.  Sorry, you do the crime you do the time!

            Please take to heart what I have shared.  Because of my murder, I lost the relationship with my two children, my four granddaughters, and countless friends and family members.  My advice to you is thinking of the consequences before you act.  It may keep you out of prison.