Life Above Reproach Testimony

Peregrination

By LeVaughn Gaines

            At the aged of 23, I was sentenced to a 32-year-to-Life in prison after almost killing my girlfriend at the age of 20.  The events of my life didn’t just happen out of the blue.  I walked off the road God had built for me, and I tried to pave my own path.  I looked ahead to where the path was taking me and back from where I had just come.  I was not pleased with what I was constructing.

            Sitting in my cell, I came to a hard conclusion.  Hard because it was the opposite of what my fleshly eyes wanted. I had to stop trying to build my own road, and just travel down the one God had for me.  So, I stopped struggling and with God’s help. I cut myself a new path leading back to the road He laid out for me. 

            It wasn’t easy.  I had to give up a dead marriage that I could not build with. I had to let go of the notion of building with friends who were not the right tools for the path. I had to build in order to get back to God’s road.  I had to take time out to educate myself through self-help, college, and bible application on how to build a path with a strong and level foundation that could get me to God’s road.            It was through educating myself that I realized that I must carry only the necessary baggage to get me through life.  Anything more would weigh me down and make my journey harder than it has to be.  I carried hate for so long, yet I realized I had to throw it out.  It was a double-edge sword that continued to cut me.  I had to replace it with the love I found along the road, which was ten times lighter and a whole lot more beneficial.

            Next was fear.  It took a moment to find it at the bottom of the bag.  Fear had been with me the moment I left my mother’s womb and entered into the bleak world. Fear was in my first scream of fresh air.  The fear of being rejected became the fear of not being good enough.  Fear was with me the day I committed my crime and was with me the day I began serving time.  I looked at fear, closed my eyes, and dropped it on the road.

            I picked up anger ready to throw it out, but something told me to read the instructions.

                                                Anger powerful when used correctly.

                        Directions:  When felt, channel into a ball of creativity:  create music,

                        poetry or art; use anger to be moved to make a positive difference to

                        an injustice. When overwhelmed with anger, breathe slowly, and

                        focus on God.  Dangerous when used along with hate, bitterness, and envy.

            I decided to put anger back in my bag.  I knew I would have use for it down the road.  God provided me with free-will and choice.  So, through the sizzling and torrid summer days and the frigid and sudden winter nights, I paved my path back to the glorious road God laid out for me.