Hear My Plea

By:  Marcus Bennett

            I was born in San Francisco on December 23, 1967.  My father was murdered in 1970 and my mother moved us to Los Angeles where she re-married.  We were a church-going family.  My stepfather had a drinking problem and my mother would drink with him periodically.  They argued and fought, literally fist fighting.  My brother and I would try to intervene, but my mother told us to stay out of it.  My stepfather beat me for trying to help my mother.  This led to helplessness and resentment.  I told my grandmother and my parents found out.  They whipped me and said what happens in this house stays in this house.

            This is when I began to put up walls, keeping everything in, and everybody out.  I felt I had no one to talk to and the result was disobedience and violence.  However, our family did have some good moments giving the appearance that all was well during family outings and visiting other relatives.

            My life took a turn when I saw my brother watching porn and having sex.  I would sneak and watch.  He would have parties when my parents would leave for the weekends.  This is when I was introduced to alcohol and smoking.  During this time, I experienced a horrible incident where I fell, and my front teeth were knocked out.  This caused me to have low self-esteem and become an introvert.

            As I sought to fit in with my peers, the more they rejected me.  When I tried to talk to the girls, they laughed at me causing me to become more aggressive in my pursuit of acceptance and the attention of girls.  This behavior led to my first arrest and going to juvenile hall where I picked up a bit of a reputation where I learned how to satisfy myself. 

            When I was released, I thought about sex and drinking.  My behavior spiraled out of control and I went back to juvenile hall.  While there my mother begged me to go to church.  I went and the chaplain spoke on Romans 3:23 and 6:23. I never forgot those verses.  I believe that’s when God began to soften my heart to receive Him.  At that moment, I told God that if He would let me out that I would give my life to Him. 

            As a juvenile, I had to be released to a parent.  However, one week later, I was put on a city bus and sent home.  I knew that God heard me, but I had no intention of becoming a Christian.  So, I went back to hanging out with the gangs, breaking laws, fighting, drinking heavily, and chasing girls.  My conduct got no better as I continued being abrasive over the next several years.  I was arrested and sent to juvenile hall again where I did three and a half months then released again. 

            My family was afraid for my safety when I was shot at three different times and I was in a horrible car wreck.  In 1989, I committed the crime of attempted murder and mayhem; and I was sentenced to life in prison. 

            Being scared and feeling vulnerable as it was my first time in prison, I remembered the stories that were being told when I was in county jail.  So, violence and aggression were my response toward everyone and everything.  My actions told the people I was willing to do whatever I had to do to survive and I knew it was fear driving me.  While in prison, I continued to drink, smoke, and be aggressive.  This was my way of coping just to get through each day.  I got in a lot of trouble, hurt a lot of people, and have been hurt during my first 14 years in prison.

            Then something began to happen as a result of people talking to me about God and inviting me to church.  They asked if they could pray for me, asked if I know God, and if I loved my family; and, where do I see myself in 10 years?  I had no answers for those questions.  What stuck with me was the statement, “God loves you in spite of what you’ve done and desires a relationship with you.” 

            On April 23, 2003, I could no longer resist the call of salvation and a personal relationship with God.  From that time until now, God began to deal with all my issues and experiences that contributed to the choices that I made growing up by sorting them out.  He did it this way so that I would be able to recognize each emotion that caused me to react in a negative way; and in Christ, I could now recognize those same emotions and respond in a godly manner. 

            Now that my relationship with God is right, I can relate to others as God relates to me.  I can now separate a person’s actions from the person by not liking the behavior, while still loving the person.  When I am doing this God is building character in me.  At the same time, God has been restoring old relationships and strengthening new ones.

            In August 2015, God brought me to Solano County prison where I had the privilege to participate in the “Life Above Reproach” discipleship program. It offered me accountability, responsibility, and discipleship in how to conduct myself as a Christian in church, toward my family, in the workplace, and socially.

            Young people, before I became a Christian, my life was that of chaos.  I was fearful, resentful, and angry. I was violent, selfish, deceitful, and untrustworthy.  Now that Christ is Lord of my life, there is order and clarity accompanied by direction.  This is where I appeal to you to let Christ into your life so you too can experience the love of God, and a life of order and purpose.  You will also have the restoration of relationships. When trials come into our life, they will not be overwhelming because Christ will go through it with you and you will be able to go through things with others. 

            So, when people come into your life and speak to you about God’s love and His desire for you, please listen to them because it is God trying to get your attention.  Please hear them.

            Thank you for being in position to receive from the Lord. 

Praying for you all,

Marcus Bennett