I Crossed Over

By Ronnie Randon

What can I, a man serving a 26-year-to-life sentence for first degree murder, share with you?  Perhaps nothing at all that would make sense, or perhaps so.  You may even be wondering why I even shared that I am in prison.  I believe Paul the Apostle himself wrote letters from prison to encourage and share what Jesus Christ did in his life.  I, too, wish to share all that my Lord and Savior has done, and continues to do, in my life.  However, first you must know that I had not always followed Jesus Christ or worshiped God the way He should be, but that all changed.

Erina Kim-Eubanks, Northern Field Director Prison Fellowship of California wrote, “While many in society might view prison primarily as a place of despair and punishment, it is undeniable that throughout history and even today, God’s Spirit is alive and active inside prison walls.”  I am living proof of this.

Prior to my coming to prison and having received an Honorable Discharge from the military (Army), God was trying to get my attention, but I was not listening.  I was more on the run from Him.  I used the excuse that I wanted to come at a time when I was tired of indulging in what the world had to offer me.  During that time, I was truly blinded to the point that I could not see death was waiting at my door.  Even today, I still believe it was the prayers of my grandmother that were also heard concerning her grandson who had gone astray.  Ultimately, I still strayed further from those who truly cared for me, especially God.  What came next still did nothing to turn me around.  I overdosed and woke up days later in the hospital trying to figure out what happened.  It was not enough.  I only stopped drinking and stopped drug use for a short period.  I remember walking into a church and sitting in the back.  A family who did not even know me invited me to sit with them even though I looked like I had been in the jungle for months, they overlooked that.  I still was not broken; I still was not ready to change.  So I started back on my journey to meet death on my terms.  Had I heeded God’s call then, I would not have committed the murder for which I am currently in prison.  A family and a community would not have suffered the pain that I forced into their lives; and for some, my actions caused them to question God, though it was not an act approved by God.

In 2008, I received a call that my mother had passed away, and hearing the news was the window in which God used for me to see my need for Him.  I was broken and fell to my knees.  It was not necessarily because of my mother’s passing way, it had to do with everything I had done in my life; more importantly, murdering a person.  Although I had been given many opportunities to change, I refused the help that was right in front of me.  God had shown me grace; the question was how would I use it?  I decided to follow His teachings through His Word and live my life to please Him.

I have participated in many self-help programs in my 25 years in prison.  The reality of this is that when one looks very close at all the books that are used, all the true help for me has come from God’s Word, the creator of all things, and the only true source for change.  When I made the commitment to go through the Life Above Reproach Program, I knew that God provided this opportunity, not just for myself, but for many others whom He has called behind these walls.  It was not about the 32 weeks or the Chrono given to me at the end; it was about the true fellowship with other like-minded brothers and those truly seeking God’s forgiveness and guidance.  This program has allowed me to gain a much better understanding of God’s word.  The way this program is designed is to study in my bed area reading every day.  The key that held me accountable for my thoughts and actions was meeting once a week to discuss the revelations with the men in my small group .  For me thoughts are the most silent sins if given time to grow.

My life is no longer my own.  For me to truly live a “life above reproach,” I must continue to place God first and everything else will be given.  I am thankful to have experienced this program and the valuable lessons given through God’s Word.  God showed me that through the stories He placed in my heart must be shared with others.  His free “gift,” eternal life, is being offered; and, all that one must do is ASK…I did!