My Testimony

My name is Tony Davis and I’m 45 years old.  Before I go any further, I have to write 1521 92^nd Street, Apt. C, Oakland, CA because that is where it all started.

I was born August 26, 1971 to a 17-year-old heroin addicted mother and a 28-year-old father who was never there.  At the age of 6, my mother brought me to my grandmother’s house with the promise that she would come back to get me.  After several days of my mother not coming back to get me, my grandmother got frustrated and was going to put me in foster care.  After much pleading from my Aunt Paula, my grandmother agreed to keep me.

At the age of 8, I was playing in front of the apartment building and my aunt pointed to this man walking down the street and said, “That’s your daddy.”  I walked up to him.  There was no hug, not even a handshake, just a “Hi.”  After days of asking my aunt about my dad, I found out that he lived around the corner with his wife and two sons.  Finding this out really hurt me, and it had a negative impact on me at how I looked at myself.  I felt something was wrong with me, as if I was less than everyone else.  I walked around every day hurt, angry, rejected, and abandoned.  I felt as if I wasn’t good enough.

As I got older, I covered the pain, the anger, the rejection, and the abandonment with an outward appearance of being tough when really, I was a sensitive kid.  I didn’t know how to properly deal with what I was feeling.

In my quest to be accepted, I began to make bad choices and decisions.  I started hanging out with other kids in the neighborhood who were going through the same things I was going through.  In our quest to be recognized, we sold drugs and carried guns which led to us forming a gang on July 9, 1990.  Not being able to deal with all of those emotions and rage, I killed a man and attempted to kill three others.  I was arrested a year later and given a 15 years-to-life sentence.  As I sat in the county jail, I thought about my life and how I threw away all the love and support my grandparents gave me for the “streets.”  I thought about how, as a child, I used to pray to God for my mom to come and get me; and, for my father to love me like he loved my other brothers.  Even as a child, I felt God didn’t care for me so why should I care about God.

I began to talk to God and asked, “God why was I born into this world?  Why did my life have to be so hard?  Why did you let this happen to me?  Why don’t you care about me?”

I arrived at San Quentin State Prison, West Block Reception Center, on April 9, 1992. I was twenty years old with an 18 years-to-life sentence. It was all over my head, and I did not fully understand the magnitude of the sentence or what led me to committing the crime.  I was lost.  I brought the same behaviors from the streets into prison.  The only difference was that I was now around more experienced criminals.  I began to run with a prison gang known as 415, although I was not an official member at that time.  However, I participated in all of the activities that they participated in.  I sold drugs, carried knives, and whatever the gang was doing I did.  I officially became a member shortly after and did all that I could to further the gang.

In the eighties and nineties, 415 or Kumi (Swahili Ten 415) as it is now referred to was at the height of its power.  As a Kumi member I felt noticed, important, loved, and accepted; something I had never felt.  I began to work my way through the ranks by doing whatever I was asked to do.  I sold drugs, carried weapons, and removed people off the yard.  Whatever that was needed to be done, I was ready to do it.  All the while, without my knowing it, God had a purpose and a plan for my life.

Due to all the violence and disregard for the rules, I was shipped to a higher, more secure and violent prison, Calipatria State Prison, right on the Mexican border.  In California, my reputation grew and I became known throughout the prison system.

When I look back, I can truly understand that God had his loving hands around me.  There were so many people losing their lives at Calipatria due to race riots and police shootings that I thought I would die.  But by the mercy of God, I was protected.

I was kicked out of Calipatria due to a riot I participated in.  I was sent to Salinas Valley State Prison on September 6, 1996 which was a more violent prison in Salinas.  I was given the internal rank by the founder of Kumi known as Mousy Brown.  What that meant was that whatever prison I went to, not only did I have control of the yard, but control of the entire prison.

It was at Salinas Valley where I began to pray and read the Bible and the Daily Bread.  It is where I also began to use hard-core drugs.  Methamphetamines and weed were my way of escaping the harsh reality of prison and all the hurt and pain I was dealing with.  I would talk to God about all the pain, but I didn’t feel comforted.

At Salinas Valley, I was able to live off of my reputation.  My points and custody level went down and I was able to transfer to Solano, a lower level prison.  I was at the height of my power and I was treated like a king at Solano which was a relaxed, kick-back prison with not too much violence.  So after I corrected a few things, I was able to focus on drugs and money.  What I came to realize was that Solano State Prison was the cellphone and drug capital, and I was right in the middle of it all.  I made sure Kumi got a percent of everything being moved, for example, cellphones, drugs, tobacco, etc. with most of the money going to the head of the gang.  I began to use more drugs and my life became more and more out of control.

I was caught with drugs and sent to the hole and for the first time, I cried out to God.  I was tired and at the end of myself.  In that dark lonely hole as I laid on that cold floor, I was alone; no drugs, no cellphones, just me and God on that floor.  I accepted God into my heart.  I did eight months in the hole and was released back to the yard.  I wrote our founder Mousy Brown and expressed to him that I no longer wanted to be part of Kumi and he said okay.  I called a meeting with all the Kumi members and explained to them I would no longer be a member.  When I was asked why I was leaving, I explained that God has a calling on my life and I was tired of running.

“For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.  I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.  Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.  And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.  How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!  How great is the sum of them!  If I should count them they would be more in number then the sand; When I awake, I am still with you.” (Psalm 139:13-18)  These verses spoke to my heart…I was not a mistake.  I was never alone, rejected, or overlooked.  God knew what He was doing.  He has always had a will and a purpose for my life.  With tears running down my face, I began to have a relationship with God.  I began to hunger for His word.  Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sin is covered. (Psalm 32:1)  All that shame and guilt I was carrying around was the devil.  I was forgiven through the blood of Jesus Christ—past, present and future. (John 19:30)  I began to actively get involved in the ministry.  For the first time, I became selfless, and not selfish, a humble and willing servant.

In 2011, I met my beautiful beloved wife Candace.  We were married shortly after and God has blessed our union and enriched our lives tremendously.  On January 12, 2017, I went to the Board of Prison Hearings and was found suitable.  I will be released from prison after 26 years.

I don’t know what God has planned for me, but I do know I will serve Him and I am excited to see where He takes me.  1 John 4:4.

Thank you,

Tony Davis