Slavery of the Soul

As a young man, I chose a path into the life of the world.  I chose to disregard my mother’s values of faith and of being kind to others for the life of that of a street Thug and drug dealer.  At the age of 10, I was already on the block dealing drugs and breaking into homes.  I had no care in the world.  I would sit in church and look at the people whose homes I had broken into.  I had no compassion for what they felt or what my actions had done to them.  Faith to me was something people told themselves to give themselves hope for a better tomorrow.  I didn’t want hope.  I wanted a better tomorrow, today and right now!  Being part of the street life gave me that, or so I thought!

In 1984, I was sitting on the front steps of my home talking with my sister when we heard 10 to 15 pops that I knew came from a gun.  I remember telling my sister somebody just got “wet” (shot).  No sooner did I say that that my sister said Hodari (my cousin) was around there.  For whatever reason, I jumped up and ran to where I heard the shots came from.  As soon as I reached the end of the street, I saw him lying in the middle of the street bloody.  He was my family and my best friend.  I ran to him and dropped to his side.  I picked him up and laid him in my lap begging him to hang in there, saying that he would be okay, and just breathe for me.  I cried out for help and asked God to help my cousin.  Yes, a man of the street calling to God in his hour of need.  As I sat there with him in my arms, I prayed that if God helped him I would go to church more often.  Here I was trying to make a deal with God; but as I looked down at my cousin, I saw him take his last breath.  I felt his body die.  For the first time in my life, I saw the actions of my lifestyle.  I had lost a member of my family, my best friend, and someone I could trust with my life.

Not even four years later, after all that I experienced, I took the life of Mr. Vaughn and tried to take the life of Mr. Porter.  I have been in prison now for 26 years and I’m now 48 years old.  Over half of my life has been spent in prison because I was a slave to the ways of the streets.  I was victim to the belief that God only helped those who help themselves.  I was a slave to the ideals that love and values came from the streets.  And the sad part is that I came from a family of God-fearing people.  I spent a lot of years in prison soul searching.  I came to understand that while I acted as if God was not real and a part of my life He was there with me each and every day.

I look at Luke in chapter 15, “The Parable of the Lost Son.” Now here was a son who came from a good upbringing and who had the things needed of this world.  Yet, he saw more for his life than he needed.  As hard as it was for his father and family to allow him to take his share of the family values, in verses 12-13, the younger son said, “Father give me my share of the family estate.  So the father divided his property between them…”  Not long after that, the younger son got together all that he had, set off for a distance county, and there squandered his wealth in wild living.  You see, I was that son.  I wanted more than I needed.  But once times got hard, I would turn to GOD to help me, to protect me, to feed me, and to give me hope.

When you read this parable all the way through, you see your path in life as I have.  I was once a lost sheep, but now I’m found; I was blind, but now I see.  God is so loving that all he asks of us is to come to Him in our time of need.

Life Above Reproach has helped me understand the role God has always played in my life.  This program has helped me see how I view and see the world.  But most of all, it has allowed me to see the impact and the worth I bring to the world.  You see, many of us look at slavery as when Black men/women were sold and treated less than.  Yet, we do it to ourselves freely every day.  Value the life that God has given you.  Use it to bring joy and God’s word to the world.

God bless all who read this and are touched by my life.

By Jaivon Patterson