My Testimony

By:  Richard Anthony Serva

I am Richard Anthony Serva and this is my testimony.  This is one of the hardest things I have ever written.  To be able to explain where I’ve been, where I’ve gone, and where I’m at today isn’t an easy thing.  I’ve been down some rough roads and have had a rough life full of addiction, hurt, and chaos which is so different from the peace that I have found today.  I only found that peace by finding God.  Even if I’m in prison, I still found peace.  Now, I am getting a little ahead of myself.  So let me start from the beginning and that way I can better explain the peace I have today.

As far back as I can remember, my dad was never in my life and my mom was addicted to drugs and alcohol.  She couldn’t hold down a house so we were constantly bouncing from house to house.  We were never in one place for too long. So at a young age I was exposed to lots of different people which led me to start a drug addiction early in life.  At the age of nine years old, I started to use drugs and at ten or eleven became addicted to hard drugs.  My life was lost after that, and I was lost as well.  My addiction became bigger and stronger.  I was no longer just an 11-year-old kid, but a dope feign.

I started getting into trouble with the law and was arrested when I was 14 years old.  I was sent to Juvenile Hall several times until the courts got tired of it.  At 16, I was put into a group home.  I wasn’t okay with that, so I took off from there and was on the run until I was 18.  I had a daughter when I was on the run.  I thought that she was going to change my life, and that I was going to be a better man.  Well, she actually did change my life for a while, but my addiction was too strong.  I eventually turned myself in and got clean for about a year; but then, I started using again.  I don’t want to spend too much time on the chaotic life that I had, but I do want you to understand how lost I was.  I started using again.  I had another daughter and eventually, lost my job and my house.

My drug addiction and my behavior caused me to lose my first kids’ mom and my two daughters. When I lost them, everything got crazier.  I fell even harder into my addiction.  I was homeless, drugged, and out of my mind.  I barely saw my girls anymore.  I was constantly in and out of jail until the courts finally got tired of me.  At 22 or 23, I was sent me to rehab.

I got cleaned up for about year and met another good woman.  I had three more kids with her and added two step-children to my bunch for a total count of seven children.  I tried my hardest to be a good dad, a good man, and a good person in general; but my drug addiction was too much.  I was already too far gone in my addiction to truly care about my life.

So God decided to save me from myself and show me how to be a real man, how to grow up, and put away childish things.  Before He could show me these things, He had to give me a time-out and took away everything I thought I was living for in my life.  I mean He took everything from me—my freedom, my life, and my children.

It was hard at first, but I came to understand that He put me on this time-out so that I could find Him, come to rely on Him, and call on Him when I was in need.  My time-out was a prison term, or actually, two.  The first was a 3-year term.  I spent that whole term with the Lord by reading the Bible.  I was still so young in my walk and nowhere near ready to leave or strong enough in my walk to leave.  I was six months from finishing my 3-year term. God knew I wasn’t ready.  He knew I would fall again, unless I put my hand in His.  I’m not going to lie.  I knew I wasn’t ready either.  I was terrified to get out.  I knew three years wasn’t enough to get clean and stay clean.  I knew I was most likely going to leave God at the door when I left prison.  He knew that too.  But, He loves me so much that He wasn’t going to let me leave and fall again.  Jeremiah 29:11 reads, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord; thoughts of peace and not evil to give you a future and hope.”  In that scripture, God says that He wants us to have a better future and hope in Him.  I was about 4 months away from getting out of prison.  Then, out of nowhere, something that I did in my past caused me to go back to court and I was sentenced five more years.

At first, I felt lost and abandoned.  Even though I knew I was scared and not ready, I still wanted to get out of prison.  God is beautiful and so amazing.  He had a better plan for me, one that insures my life here and after.  It took me a few months after I received that sentence to accept it and move on.  I fell back on the Lord full force and started walking with Him.  I got real with Him and real with myself.  I got baptized and began reading my Bible every day.  I started various groups and bible studies while attending church.  I wanted to truly know my God and why it is that I was worshiping Him.  I wanted to know Him like He knows me.  I wanted to know His will for me.  So I sought him and like it says in Luke 11:9-14, “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”  I found Him.  I knocked and He opened the door to my life.  He gave me a new life and a new found hope in Him.

It’s been a beautiful walk with Him, and an intimate one.  I know that I am not alone any longer.  Now, I’m not going to lie to you because it’s not always an easy road, but that’s what makes it so beautiful because I am not alone on this walk anymore.  He is right there with me every step of the way, every second of the day.  I can call on Him any time, and He is there for me.  He has plans for me and I’m sure that His plans are better for me than mine.  So, I’m going to give Him free rein over my life.  He has been doing a good job so far.

So put your trust in Him.  Give Him your hand and he’ll never let you down.