Life Above Conversion

By Terry L. Lester

My manner of life from youth until the age of 46 has always revolved around drugs and alcohol which gave me the courage that I normally wouldn’t have.  I was the young person afraid of crowds because of my low self-esteem issues.  Whenever I found myself at parties, sporting events, at school or shopping malls, or wherever a large number of people were gathered, I would feel out of place.  Even when communicating with authority figures, adults, or even the opposite sex, I would feel very uncomfortable.  My life was and has been lived in fear of the unknown—a reluctance to do the things normal everyday people do.

When drugs and alcohol came into my life, I became a totally different person.  Crowds didn’t frighten me anymore and I no longer feared communication or being called on in class.  I wasn’t intimidated by adults or the opposite sex.  Simply put, drugs and alcohol became my “problem-solving tool,” and that continued until the age of 19 when I joined the military.

After joining the military where there was zero tolerance for drug use, I became a full-blown alcoholic and eventually was kicked out with a “Bad Conduct Discharge.”  Though I was saddened to get kicked out, it gave me the freedom to continue my passion for meth and cocaine.  It didn’t take long for me to become a full-blown addict with many incarcerations due to my addictions and my inability to support that addiction.  In 1994, I received a life sentence for 2^nd degree robberies because of my addiction and the three-strikes law.  Even prison with a life-sentence was still not enough to stop me from seriously abusing the people that loved me, and I continued my addictive behavior.

For 18 years, I continued my behavior in prison.  During this time, people often tried to talk with me about God; but in my opinion, God couldn’t help me.  (That was the farthest thing from the truth!)  Denying God was a denial pattern I had created over the years to continue with uninterrupted drug abuse.  In 2012 after being awake for three days and basically too paranoid to come out of my cell, I came to the realization that if I didn’t change, death was an imminent possibility.

I have never been a person who believed in God, although when looking back, God has always been present in my life.  I wasn’t open to the God concept until God was all that I had left.  All my attempts to stop using drugs and alcohol had ended in many failures and it wasn’t until I accepted the possibility of God that my life took a dramatic turn.  Many people like myself don’t experience the power of God until they humble themselves and ask for His help.

I got on my knees on 12-12-2012 and asked God to save me from myself.  I cried and cried on my knees that day.  When I emerged from my cell, I emerged a new man; and since that day, I haven’t touched drugs or alcohol.  I live in peace today.  Even with a life sentence of 35-to-life, I’ve never known the peace Jesus has brought into my life.  It feels good to know that no matter where I go, I’m part of a family of men and women who have the same belief system—Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.  Jesus changes lives!  I am a living testimony of that peace beyond imagination, and it’s all because of His saving Grace.  I don’t feel the shame, guilt, or inadequacy I felt before turning my life over to Christ.  Today, I am a child of the Most High God, His representative; and I won’t give up, shut up, or let up until Christ’s return.

Amen –

Terry L. Lester