My Testimony

By Fidel Beltran

            I was born in Sinaloa Mexico and I am 38 years old.  I am the only male in the family. I have four sisters and I grew up in a dysfunctional family.  What I mean is that my family had very poor communication skills.  My parents fought a lot, my father is an alcoholic and they beat me a lot. I had no liberties, nor the right to express what I felt or what I believed.  That’s why I call it a dysfunctional family because there was no structure or functionality.  I felt alone without love and with low self-esteem feeling marginalized and worthless.  At six years old, I had my first experience with alcohol because an uncle gave me a drink.  As I grew up and started school, I began to have many difficulties with rejection, of mockery, and I began to use violence to defend myself. Little by little my heart was filled with hate, resentment, and pride. I also began to believe that nobody loved me, that nobody understood me, and that nobody cared. I began to distrust.  This led me to keep many things in my heart, keeping my distance from people, and isolating myself. I became a less sociable person who did not like to share his life, his suffering, his pain, his sadness with anyone; not even the things happening in my life—good or bad.

            At age thirteen, I drank a half-liter of very strong wine. I lost my consciousness for about 20 hours and when I woke up, I did not remember anything about what happened. Today I realize that I could have died, but God had mercy on me, and He has always cared for me. The only positive thing that came out of this madness was that I could never drink strong alcohol—only beer, but there is not much difference as everything destroys and affects our health.

            My parents wanted me to study to prepare myself; but at age 17, I left school because I liked money and I wanted to be independent. I wanted to be my own boss, have my own things, and no one have control over me, so I rebelled. I decided to migrate to USA with the help of that uncle who got me drunk when I was a child.  This guy was a criminal who was getting along “well” and who I also missed a lot.  I felt loved by him, I was very fond of him, and attracted by his lifestyle from a young age. I adopted his lifestyle—weapons, bullfights, parties, dances, drinking, violence and money—something I never got to have, but that was my goal to have what I was missing since childhood.  Today, I realize that money is nothing compared to the love of God, the love of Jesus, and being forgiven is more than enough to be complete.

            In 1999, I arrived in California. I remember hearing about Christ Jesus a few months after I arrived.  My first job was washing cars, then in an avocado packing company, and prior to committing my crime, I worked in construction doing cement work.  In the packing company, I heard about Jesus Christ through a Christian who worked there named Domingo Cruz. He was very different from all of us in his attitude, his behavior, and his way of speaking.  He had the personality of a Son of God.  Within a few days of knowing him, I had problems with my uncle.  We had a misunderstanding and he kicked me out of his home. I felt emotionally wounded and disappointed and his words were hurtful. From that moment, I decided to leave his house. I realized that the Brother was renting a bedroom.  I talked with him and moved in with this man of God whose family had much love, respect, and understanding. I felt very loved by them.  I could feel that peace, tranquility, and security with them and I began to learn the Word of the Lord.  He is the only person that I remember ever telling me that I was a Christian, but my surprise was, oh no, let’s go to a Christian church!  That’s the way it was, and I forgot all about the matter.

            Now a few days later at a card game, a friend of mine got into a fight and they moved him to another yard.  The only way to see him was at the church services. Well, one morning I decided to go look for this friend; and to my surprise, that was the morning I found the only Faithful and True friend, Christ Jesus. I found my Savior. I found forgiveness for all my sins. I found healing for my soul. I found peace and true love that I did not know.  That morning I found liberty and the true meaning for my life because from that day, my life changed. The emptiness in my heart disappeared. The sadness was turned to joy, pain was converted to joy, disbelief was turned into FAITH, and deception was turned into hope.

            Today, I can tell you that the best years of my life are those that I have lived in Christ Jesus—from February 14, 2010 to the present day. This might be the strangest thing that you might hear from someone who is in prison for life without a family, without a wife, away from his children, unable to see his mom and dad, unable to see my sisters, and having lost everything.  Let me tell you that God’s forgiveness and love is greater than all this, but above all the faith that moves mountains and the assurance of believing in God Almighty who can do everything for you, God can make possible what seems impossible.

            I will share with you something wonderful that my God did shortly after I met him. Meditating on my path full of sin, I would speak with the Lord and ask Lord how much time have I wasted, how much damage have I caused the people I love, how was I capable of doing all this? I understand I did what I did because I grew apart from you, apart from your word, and was without fear and your love in my heart.  If I had known you from childhood, I would not have done so much harm at least that is what I believe to be so.  But there is a possibility that it would have not made a difference, this only God knows and I say it because how many people knew the Lord since childhood, maybe you grew up in a Christian home, and yet you are taking the path that is leading you to perdition.  There is time to turn to God and return to your beautiful home. The point is this, I have been praying for my daughters and my son that they could grow up knowing the Lord Jesus and be instructed in his Word, He assured me that everything would be fine with my children.  A few weeks after praying, I received news that they were Christians. They had been baptized and belonged to a Church.  For me, this was a wonderful miracle on the part of the Lord.  It filled me with joy and peace because I know that God comforts the hearts of my daughters, my son, and my ex-wife. The Lord will always occupy my place as a father to my family which I did not value and despised due to my poor decisions in life.

            My testimony is that Lord Jesus restored my life completely; my relationship with God and with my family is very different now.  I’ve had a change of heart, a change in my way of thinking, and I am serving my Lord.  I am in the ministry of Praise and Worship as the Lord He has blessed me with the ability to play the guitar.  I am also an assistant to the Good Shepherd here in the Chapel of the Solano Prison.  We have prayer and Bible study in the yard.  On Mondays we have Evangelize.  We pray for families.  We have prayer every evening before going to sleep. I am also attending the ministry of Brother Armando Muñoz, Life Above Reproach Discipleship Program, which has been a blessing to me.  He is helping me to grow spiritually and preparing me to fulfill the Great Commission that Christ commanded us to make disciples all over the world.

            This ministry is growing.  This is my second time that I am participating in the Life Above Reproach Discipleship Program.  Every time I hear new testimonies of healing and of the powerful things that the Lord Jesus Christ does in the lives of people, as he has done with me, I am encouraged.  In the month of June, my son underwent a very risky surgical operation.  We were praying, and thanks to Jesus and to the power of the Holy Spirit, the operation was a great success because of the faith and trust we have in our Savior.

            Finally, I just want to say that today in Christ Jesus I am a new person who is cheerful, happy, compassionate, merciful, comprehensible, kind, empathetic, generous, hospitable, humble, and respectful.  I am a man of great faith, honest, open with all, sensible, God fearing, obedient, open spiritually, and happy because I have Christ in my heart. In Christ, I am complete. All that’s left is to get out of the prison when it is the will of God.  I trust that it will be soon.  It is my desire to continue serving Christ Jesus with all my Heart.

            May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you.  May this testimony help you and be a blessing to your life.  My wish is that you be a part of His family and inherit all the promises that God has made you through His beloved Son Christ Jesus.  May you have a life full of love, peace and joy, and live in harmony with your Creator and with your family.  It is possible if you can believe.

            May the peace and love of Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit be with you always.  May your life and each of your steps be guided according to the will of God. These are the best wishes of Brother Fidel Beltran.

Sincerely:  Fidel Beltran 9/16/2019