I am 22 years old and currently incarcerated for murder.  I’m serving a 16-years-to-life sentence.  I came to jail at the age of 16.  Before my incarceration I was a drug addict, alcoholic, a criminal and a gang member. 

            I didn’t grow up with both my parents in the household.  My mother had to take both gender roles in the house.  She had to be a mother and a father figure.  My mother had to work two jobs so she could provide for me and my two other siblings.  My dad was in jail before I was born.  I met my dad while he was in prison when I was about four or five years old.  My relationship with him consisted of letters and phone conversations.  I never had a good relationship with him.

            As I grew up in the City of Los Angeles, I was made fun of because I was poor. I didn’t have good clothes or shoes and I didn’t have money to buy candy.  I was an angry little boy.  I blamed my mom because she was always working and never home.  She never showed me love or attention.  As I got older, I started to have abandonment, neglect, and insecurity issues.  I never had anybody show me love or give me attention. 

            When I started going to school, I started to act out for attention, but it didn’t work.  All I would get is my behind kicked by my mom and that made me angrier, so I just continued to act bad.  When I got older, I started to run around the streets.  I felt loved and accepted, but everything I did was out of fear of losing those around me.  So, I started to do drugs, drink, write on walls, fight, and ditch school. 

            At the age of 14, I joined a gang and my criminal activity progressed.  By the age of 16, I had been expelled from 12 different high schools.  I had been arrested for battery on a peace officer, evading a peace officer, and vandalism.  I carried a knife to protect myself from those I considered my enemies at the time.  On April 25^th I murdered someone because I felt I still needed to prove myself to my ex-homies.  I ended up in jail for the murder and my own homies testified against me.  I was found guilty. 

            I was sent to state prison.  During the first six years of me being in jail, I have come to know God, Jesus Christ.  I surrendered my life to God, and I gave up the gang life.  For four years now, I have been sober from drugs.  I started to change who I was little by little through reading God’s word (the Bible) and self-help groups.  It’s unfortunate that I had to get a life sentence to change my life, but I’m thankful because God has opened my eyes. 

            Now I know my purpose in life is to serve God.  I know that in time I will be free if God allows it.  I’m not perfect but I’m thankful to “Life Above Reproach” discipleship program which has helped me with some areas that I struggled with.  God has sent faithful brothers to help me.  I hope that I’m able to help in preventing any young boy or girl from dying to street violence or doing a life sentence all because of the gang life.

            Thank you and God bless.