Struggling

By:  Marcus Bennett

Brother Mando,

            I am writing this as my testimony.  For no other reason than to be transparent and to thank God for His hand on my life.

            I was seriously devastated when I returned from the board. Spiritually I was okay; but emotionally and mentally, I was spent.  I have never before been so sure of my suitability; and when it did not happen, I was hurt.  You were the only one that reached out to me, and I thank God for you.  However, I tried to remain focused by staying busy; and the more I involved myself, the more I was struggling.  I realized that I was not allowing God to minister to me because I was being more attentive to others.  I became frustrated when we were not able to meet because of COVID-19; and when checking in on the brothers, they responded with aggressiveness.  I then began to slack on my assignments, but not the readings. 

            Then I was quarantined in June for 20 days and it was in that time that I was able to draw close to God and began to have a sense of peace.  Then I returned and two weeks later I was moved to Building 21 for some unknown reason.  The next day Building 21 was quarantined, but in the midst, I have been able to enjoy the fellowship and bible studies every other night. This was just what I needed.  This got me back digging into the Word of God and not just reading but allowing God to minister to me.  In doing so, God used me to witness to a young man. God had to soften his heart and on August 26^th, he received Christ as his Lord and Savior.  Since moving to Building 21, my person has been re-calibrated, and my struggles are not that bad in Christ.  I am in a good place spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically; and I thank God for that experience, for it produced a growth spurt. 

            Brother Mando, I have not given up on Life Above Reproach and I am still interested in serving in some capacity.  However, I do not deserve a certificate because I could have done better.  Thank you for everything.

God Bless You,

 Brother Marcus