Life Above Reproach

My Testimony by Carlos Antonio Aguilar

My name is Carlos Antonio Aguilar. I am from a small town called Oro Grande in the San Bernardino County area.  Many things have happened in my life growing up that led me to believe in “a God.”  I just never really knew who this God was.

Throughout my teenage years, I was hooked on meth and marijuana.  My whole life revolved around getting high.  As a matter of fact, my whole family had the same drug problem.  I was just doing what everybody else was doing.

As I got older, I began running the streets and was exposed to violence.  I saw how people who did an act of violence were feared and respected, and I wanted that same respect.  Eventually, I joined a gang and started committing crimes and violence.  There was no limit to the violence and harm I would do to others for the respect and fear that I would get in return.  Everything was for the benefit of the gang.  This mentality eventually landed me in prison at the age of 18.

I continued this path of violence in prison and spent my whole adult life in and out of the system.  My kids grew up without a dad.  Some of them don’t even know me or don’t want anything to do with me.  Over the last 11 years, I have lost six immediate family members.  I suffer from a lot of shame and guilt.  I live with a heaviness in my heart that is unbearable to carry on my own.  I live with the consequences of the choices I made and wish I would have done things differently.  It is sad but it took all these years to finally open my eyes and understand that I needed to change.

Once I understood this, I humbled myself and took full responsibility for my actions.  I knew that I didn’t have the strength or wisdom to make this change on my own, so I cried out to God.  Some Christian brothers in here told me that I could draw strength from God.  They said that if I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior that He would change me from the inside out.  Can I tell you it worked!

I am telling you brothers and sisters, after I accepted Jesus, I started thinking differently.  I started desiring to do the right things.  I didn’t even want to talk foul anymore.  When I did, I would feel bad.  Over the years, it’s been a growing process.  The more I read God’s word – the Holy Bible, the more I learn how to make better choices.  I just practice what I read, and this has kept me up-right in prison.  Now I’m at a lower-level facility and my time has been reduced from a 22-year sentence to 13 years.  This is only by the grace of God in my life.

Recently, I met a Christian brother, and he asked me if I would like to do a bible study course called “Life Above Reproach.”  I took him up on the offer and am glad I did.  This study has truly strengthened my walk with Jesus and aided me with my change.  It has taught me about my purpose in the will of God and has shown me my true identity in Christ.

Of course, doing the lessons required discipline on my part, but I was always rewarded for my efforts.  I received insight and wisdom to deal with life.  It taught me how to better study the Bible because it challenged me to draw truths form the Bible and explain them.  The accountability part of each lesson helped me to be mindful of others and to become a better person week by week.  By sharing what we learned with each other, we helped each other grow spiritually.  We also grew stronger bonds with each other as we fellowshipped.

My prayer is for any of you reading this and truly seeking change that you accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior.  You have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.  Get into the word and study scripture.  Learn about your new identity in Christ.  I highly recommend the “Life Above Reproach” study.  It helped me so much and I know it will help you.  God bless!

Brother in Christ, Carlos