Living Above Reproach

One thing I know for sure, the Lord our God has saved me. Jesus died for my and your sins. I knew it a long time ago when I took Him as my Lord and Savior. Back in Guam when I was 13 years old, the locals tried to jump me into a gang. I was transferred to a private school by my parents because I had struck the head gang member and therefore, not able to attend public school.  At the private school, I began to learn the books of the Bible for the first time as part of the curriculum as well as Bible stories, like David and Goliath.  The school had church service once a week, and it was nice. It was not long until I knew I needed Jesus to save me from eternal damnation due to my sin debt. I did not know exactly what sin debt was at that time, but I knew even at that point that I had done many wrong things.

I cannot say that I ever really forgot what I had learned back then at that time, but once I moved back to Humboldt County in the United States where all my relatives were, I had no reinforcement to Godly living. I soon hardened my heart towards the Lord our God. What happened I now know was a great trial for me; but back then, it seemed that my world had fallen apart.The first challenge happened at the bus stop when a local boy called me a name. Now this was not only my new home town, but also a town that had been home to my relatives for many generations. I determined very quickly to assert dominance to represent my family heritage. I was not going to be looked down upon where my grandparents lived just across the highway from each other and my aunts and uncles just down the road.So I jumped in the boy’s face to let him know straight away that he was not going to make fun when it came to me. He became my best friend and as it turns out, he and I were the ones that made fun of others. At school, I was in all the advanced course work due to my private schooling. The course work in Guam was quite a bit more difficult than in the United States. This was the beginning of my heart hardening to the Lord our God, but far, far from the end of it. The great trial followed with the quick death of my Grandmother Arndt, on my father’s side.He had not yet retired from the United States Air Force and was serving his last year down at Travis Air Force Base when I became rebellious. My grandmother Arndt was the only one in my family who had believed in God at all. I suppose I thought at the time God had taken her from me. I did not know to think she was now in a better place.

My father had me spy on my mother after this, and he was right!  She was cheating on him, so they then divorced. During this time there was also a girl that I thought was going to be with me for a very long time, but we broke up. I felt a lot of pain over these events, and the last thought inmy mind at the time was the will of God for my life. I covered this all up with anger. Anger covers up all those emotions that you do not want to feel and process. You may even begin to think your anger is your best friend. With your anger you can kill your conscience, harden your heart, fill yourself with a false sense of pride, and pretend that you control people when you are not even in control of yourself.I made decisions to do drugs. It started with cigarettes, but by the end I did them all.My last was shooting speed. I, with my pride, did what I thought was right. I was a good soldier in the U.S. Army. I served two tours in Bosnia.  I once even shook President Clinton’s hand when he came to visit the troops on the base called Tuzla Main where I was stationed. It was only cigarettes and marijuana that I did during those times. I also drank quite a bit of liquor.After my first time in Bosnia, I got into many bar fights. I went to Holland many times and would eat mushrooms of the magic type while trying other drugs. The point here is that I went down a path of a hardened heart, and even if I did some good in my life, it was often self-willed. I had many friends that I could say influenced me, but I now take the responsibility for what I have done. I hurt many people, and have many victims. I have many children by many different mothers. I have contributed to gangs and been involved in gang violence. I have been in several rehabs, jails, and institutions.

Only by the Grace of God am I still alive. As of right now, I am serving 10 years at eighty-five percent for an attempted murder which I committed back in 2011. The Lord our God saved me here, too.By His grace and mercy, I missed the man’s main jugular vein in his neck when I cut him open. It was a very bad overreaction. There was a woman, and he was hurting her.That was not a reason for me to try to kill him. It was a situation that I never should have been involved in. It was my anger that had hardened my heart that led me to this place. I was very drugged up, in a perpetual state of depression and self-willed pride. I had lost custody of my son, and I did not let myself care about anything anymore.

I have earned two Associate degrees, and almost gotten my Bachelors. All that education did very little for me with my anger problems. Even when I had things going well in my life, I could not be content.  Our sin nature does this. Even as Adam had all the things in the Garden of Eden, he succumbed to the one forbidden fruit. Thus our sin nature began, and continues today. Only with the Holy Spirit Power of God and through the sacrifice on the life of His Son Yeshua— Jesus in English—may we be adopted into the family of God. A couple of years back, I rededicated my life to God and began to study and learn what the Bible was all about. It is amazing how God has mercy on us and seals us in adoption to the day of redemption, while He sanctifies us until we go to glory.I am so glad that with all I have done and how low I have gone that God has never once forsook me.

He has always kept His side of the bargain ever since I took Jesus as my Lord and Savior at the age of thirteen years old.I think I now see how stubborn I wasand how jealous I was that itall had to come to this. God is never late, but also never early. He is always right on time.His timing is perfect. So in closing, myhopeis that when one reads this testimony of mine that it will be God’s perfect timingfor you to read and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. He will never let you down. He came down and died to eliminate your sins as well as mine. Maybe you do not know God or maybe you do, or maybe you need to come back to Him. I would just hope you are not as stubborn as I was, so that you do not have to cause others all the pain that I have.

Pray this prayer: Lord Jesus, I am not perfect, and I have sinned. I want to go to heaven and have eternal life as You have promised. I know that you came down and died for my sins, and that you were also resurrected when You conquered death. You now sit at the right hand of Your Father, and will come again to judge both the living and the dead. I believe in the Gospel, and accept you as both my Lord and Savior. Write my name in the Lambs Book of Life that I may serve You forever in Heaven…Amen!

Thank You!

This Life Above Reproach group has been great for me. The accountability and transparency has helped me look into what kind of man I am. Also I have found how many areas that I fall short in.  In going through the New Testament over the last 30 weeks has shown me what our Savior went through.I see many times that He must have been angry, but He never did sin. We have a great example to follow.  We have an inheritance that is coming that is more glorious than we could possibly imagine. I appreciate all those who have worked so hard to make this class a reality here in prison, and I pray it continues to expand in the will of the Lord to help other men. At last as we read through the Book of Revelation, I once again get excited about the second coming of our Lord. There are those in my family that I hope to see saved before He comes again, in the Lord’s will. I am excited that the world holds so many that spread the Gospel or the Good News, and while I plant a seed, one may come behind me and water so God can make the increase in His divine will. Thanks again and I plan to retake this class again in the future!

By Larry Arndt